You wouldn't say that you're okay alone, because everyone had at least one instance that they wanted to be in romance. We all fall in love. We all have our own types and ideals - because we are humans.
I've fell in love a couple of times. Idk if it's love, but I felt pain inside me. I have a lot of crushes and sometimes I believe in the three-month rule and sometimes not. I had a crush on someone for a short time, but it was a heartbreak. There is someone that I met months ago, and I still like him.
If you'd ask me, a lot of people have told me that I'm a good love adviser and they won't believe that I never been someone else's girlfriend. Seriously, I never was. Some of my advices were from silly love stories I've heard from real life experiences and sometimes just a thought of my own. I'm a good daydreamer, maybe that's why.
I always do this online chatting. It's really fun and I love meeting new people, perhaps that I can talk to about life. There were a few of them that I'm still in contact, but most of my chats just ended with disconnection (accidentally or not).
By chance, I met guys. I had a thing with guys - that he matches with my ideal type. However, there was this one guy recently that I've chatted. He was a gentleman, a good life adviser, a good listener, and probably with sense of humor. It took us a while talking and sharing some of our personal stuff until we started talking about love. Like how I never been in to a relationship. I told him things that really popped out of my mind, which I thought right. Though, this man did not agree and told me, "Maybe you're just scared to take the risk." It made me bothered, maybe he was right. Maybe I'm just too scared to try and take the risk.
One evening, there was this another guy. In just one chat, I already liked him. I never met him personally, nor see me. We never met in person, just a chat. He asked if we can exchange numbers, gave me his number and told him I'll text him. I was about to give mine, but I'm under paranoia. I was too scared to continue our convo through text and a lot of pessimistic thoughts blocked my head. But after a day, I texted him. I don't know what to text him and took me a day to think. He replied, but was expecting another person. Ouch, I thought he would remember me at first. But I was wrong again. Maybe that one day interval, he was waiting for my text, got tired, and end up chatting another person. So I lose.
Now, Idk. Maybe if love wasn't for me, then it's okay. I'm sure there are better days coming. I'm sure that love can go along way - maybe got stuck somewhere. I believe in fate. Fate will lead us together lol.
There are a lot of maybes, though I'm sure time will come. All I need to do is perhaps get off my comfort zone and take risks. Risks that may help me become a better ego and will help me learn.
x
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