K-Pop Convention 4

It has been long hiatus for this blog. I was not really busy, focusing in school, but it really took a lot of my time. I had a lot of time wasted in school, though. Yeah, until now might still be our break for Christmas and New Year, but the worst one ever. I believe we only have less than two weeks since our last day 'til January 3rd. Sick, right? Well, perhaps I had the best Christmas celebration with my family, though I worry much about my paper works to be done before the start of classes. Hayst.

Yesterday, I went to K-Pop Con 4 without any plans in stock. It was just an urgent hangout with my old friends. I really believe that sometimes planning would not bring what is desired to happen. Actually, I just left home without even worrying of what to buy and the money in my wallet. So it happens that I still have a little money to eat and buy some cheap stuff and for transportation. 

SHAMELESS

I have been harsh to myself lately. Supposedly, I am trying to be a better student, but turned out to be worst. Just yesterday, I was destined to recite the PGC's preamble. So I did, but it should had been presented with something else, like a talent or whatsoever. I was actually planning to sing or rather rap it, however twisted everything. I stood on that flat form, consumed a lot of time, thinking of what possible talent I can manage with my recitation. Seriously, I don't want to continue anymore, it was terrible; I was in midst of nervous breakdown. My professor got disappointed by the time I even mentioned failing that certain activity, but yeah, I finished just plainly reciting the preamble alone.

My yesterday was a bad day. I was being rude to my professors, especially with my English one. I don't want it that way, treating her like she is not even inside the room. I was starting and joining commotions with my classmates, which disrupts her talking. I feel really ashamed, and I should be. I pity her, but pity myself more. I just feel so terrible about yesterday.

Now thinking these, lessons me with how badly I did for the past few days. I meant it, I know. I really intend to be mean and lazy with all the stuff and people whom I feel like acting that way. I always tell other people differently the way I respect myself and others. It is really bothering me right now. I feel like isolating myself from them, to at least renew mine. I don't wanna say more things, just act to my responsibilities and oblige myself to accept whatever God gives me.


Goodnight x

ATTITUDE

I really hate how I feel really guilty about myself. I feel like I ruined someone's life already although going there sort of. I don't know, I wanna isolate myself from trouble but here I am, stroke for the third time. I might absorb all the burden if someone from this dorm fail because of my annoying noise. Yes, I admit it. I can't control my humor which can cause real commotion together with some dorm people. I was easily amused by sort of things which I cannot really explain and then laugh until my stomach aches like I just did an exercise to have ABS, perhaps sit-ups.

Ugh, I only know one solution so that I would not disturb someone's company. I will just leave for the betterment of everyone. You might consider this as a dramatic ending of my stay but so far, I don't know any possible reason. I don't really want to piss someone again.

I want to change my personality. From a really humorous one to a more serious teenager. I will do this for the benefit of all the interactions I have. So that in the future, I will just be a neutral person, and not someone's headache. I already expected this to happen though, but I never listened to that instinct. I hope I did, since this is not my own home. This is just a lodging place near school. Okay, I hope I can be as quite as a decent lady. I hope I can. Goodnight.

ALIVE TOUR MANILA'S RANT

"WOW, FANTASTIC BABY~" | "NIGA SARANGHANEUN NANEUN SORRY I'M A BAD BOY~"

---

October 24, 2012. 

Who can tell that I had an awesome night despite of the pissed off moments outside the arena? Whoa, I did not really expect that I will enjoy the rest of my night. It was surreal! I know, but duh, I'm not a die-hard fan of BigBang. Gone partying all throughout the concert. Hell yeah!

MEAN.

Self-declared meanie~
Yes, I am! And I'm not proud of it. Who would, right? I really pity myself.

I am always rude and selfish (perhaps) towards people. I don't know, I just can't control my feelings. Yes, my reasons are probably valid for acting mean, but I can't calm myself not to be like that. *sighs*

오똑헤!!! :(

You're Intimidating!

I have this known person that intimidates me so much. I think he has his own humor, but enormously different from what normal people have. I cannot really joke around him, too uncomfortable. Actually, I cannot even speak with him, too awkward.

I don't know why I do not like to be near him or him asking me something. I want to dissolve myself from his sight. It's not love, I don't really care about love. I don't feel anything that spark as love. I just don't like his personality. It's too different like no one would ever want to talk to him anymore.

I'm being harsh and I know it. I hope someday, I can really speak with him the way I speak with most people.

Goodnight x

PISSED. (July)

1.21 AM
Haven't I used this title already, have I? I'm now listening to my iPod with B.A.P's No Mercy playing. You might probably be wondering right now about my title, are you? Now, this questions you, 'why is she pissed?'

I'm terribly pissed and annoyed yesterday. I don't really understand myself either (except for having this bipolar personality), why am I pissed. Maybe because of my homework, maybe because of the wasted time, maybe because of myself, maybe because of my unpacked stuffs, or maybe because of our f*cking printer? Choose your guess. IDRK the right reason.

RH Bill

Seriously, I always thought myself that I am a pro on this bill without even reading its forms, just depended on the hearsay from a lot of people that this does not apply ABORTION. You know, abortion is indeed typical with women nowadays, especially when unplanned and pre-maritally done. Often times, teenage pregnancy gives cue for abortion to take in. It's unlawful to civil (still) and definitely to Him and the Church.

Meanwhile, RH Bill, according to my Theology professor, is all about ARTIFICIAL CONTRACEPTIVES. Such things as two child per family, sex education starting from 5th grade to fourth year, condoms, pills, etc. These were all indicated in the said bill. I think it is not that bad though, but as my classmate said, "It just needs to be revised.", which my professor agreed.

She encouraged everyone of us present on her class to read the whole details about the RH Bill, since our program is pre-law. I must really inform myself regarding this, I badly want to know the real stuff about it. I want to stay neutral rather than be a 'PRO' or a 'CON' without any basis. It's lame and senseless.

2012. 07. 04. Recollection

Sabi ni father, "BANGKAAAHHHYYY...gusto niyo makakita? Marami sa likod." he's referring outside Med Audi talaga. Kasi Medical Lab yung sa labas. Mga History students ata tong nasa harap namin. Nakakatawa lang kasi literally, tumingin sila sa likod. What?! They were actually searching for cadavers behind them?! Srsly?!

Apparently, he's doing the homily thing. While doing this, nakikinig rin naman ako. I already reflected, dating-dati pa. I believe in God, I love God. Pero well, kakasabi nga lang ni father, "I Am the way". Yes, definitely, He is out only way. I think doing this is prohibited pero ako, I guess I have known my Divine Father so so long ago. What he is talking right now are just additional information about my Father.

I think this Recollection is a way different from what I had before. I think during my elementary until high school years, it's better. I love doing stuffs of reflection, watching inspirational movies or clips, praying, worshipping, and writing letters during my past recollections. I hope ending this session will just be like that. It's not even childish or what, or maybe few will tell exactly it is, but never for me.

---
"Jesus loves us very much."
...
END.

Fussed.

I have an entry in queue before this, but I am still not sure if I will be able to publish it. I just wanted to express these stuffs bothering my right now. Especially with the society and environment am in apparently. I want to speak out. Seriously. I might not sleep if I won't!!!

I think I am being so outrageous of the situation. I know it's definitely wrong to judge other people or ruin someone. Maybe yes, that I did judge no one. As far as I know, really. However, something contradicts with this perception. Maybe yes, I did already just judged somebody else out of disliking them. I don't really know the reality of this. I hate putting someone in this state with Idk reason why I dislike him or her. Right now, I think of bad impressions. I can't say which of those I hated, maybe all? Oh no, I shouldn't be.

I hate MAYBEs. It's so lame. Why do I kept repeating that word. I tend to always use it, especially with excuses. I didn't mean to though, but it's convenient.

Back to my rant, I don't know why am I being like this. Sometimes I like something or someone, sometimes not. Am I being so bipolar? I'm scared of this!!! Do I really need a psychiatrist or counseling? I guess no, since I can now contextualize why am being like this, right?

Hayst. This is stressful than my paperworks! I need to find solutions put of this mess within me. I'm not having identity crisis right now, more of self-assessment. I will really find these behinds.
---
Goodnight x

Fourth Week

I have a homework that frustrates me so much. I don't know how so, it just bothers me from time to time (second to second; every breath). The assignment though, is darn easier and I know that I can able to do it. What I don't really like is the reading piece or article that I will base on. It ruins everything.

I don't really like reading. I hate forced reading; especially those kind of stuffs which consumed how many pieces of bond paper just to be able to satisfy their brains and write everything in it. I don't even remember liking this faculty I'm in. I guess I don't have this clear place in college where I can brag about my ideas and such. I don't know where I belong. I like a lot of courses, I just don't excel well on them. Those courses probably, doesn't do anything with the subjects I'm having right now. Why am I being so rude about life, can't I just deal with reality?

Once, my friend told me that a lot of people from our batch suffer from fulfilling their requirements like tomorrow is death. I was moved by this. I told her about my homework (which what I rant about now) and she said that I was too lucky to do something like this and continued with that above. She was bored with school for doing nothing. What I meant moved, I was motivated at least. Just this day she said that, just this day I was longing for motivation.  I guess hearing "suffer", "fulfilling", and "requirements" were the reasons that moved me from this petiks life. Yes, I haven't started with anything yet, nevertheless I will have something to pass this Monday. I assure you.

Goodnight.

WHAT IS LOVE

For me, love isn't about two lovers. 

It's more about love for and from my own loved ones, love for myself, and love for my own desire. That is what I think love is all about. In fact, I'm always in love. In love with a lot of human beings, a lot of material possessions, and basically Korean Pop or simply K-Pop. I'm not sinfully committed with Korean boys, Korean merchandises (albums, posters, collectibles, etc), and everything Korean. I'm just plainly in love. I might sometimes disturb a lot of people especially with my excited mixed feelings whenever I see something that I love. However, be thankful because I haven't killed anyone yet (loljk). 

My endless desires in life kept me motivated with my practical life which is studying. I am also able to continue saving my money for these endless wants and sometimes use it for something else which my parents think is better than fangirling (not really). See, it changed me a lot. 

K-Pop has been one of my major strengths after the Lord and my family. I would rather be a fangirl forever, instead of doing drugs and stuffs illegal (all gross) which I hate to acknowledge on TV the most together with the government issues that doesn't even help us citizens. 

Goodnight. Next week will be that start of my first year in college. I'm not excited, I hope everything go well.

PS. I really love this song. EXO-K's What Is Love

ONE YEAR AGO...

May 22nd of the year 2011. The very first time and day I'll be living with strangers in one room. I already packed up my stuffs and clothes for a two-week review and ready to leave my home for a while. We arrived at the place, I met the landlord, he seems nice and thoughtful. I checked the house and of course the room where I will be staying for two weeks. The landlord, Tito Mac, asked me to choose which bed would most fit me (there are obviously 5 beds, 2 double-decks and one single bed). I told him I want the single one. My luggage and other stuffs were placed there, seemingly like to save that place for me. Since I was curious about whom I'll be living with, I asked him how many will stay in the same room and how old are they. He then responded that I'll be having 4 roommates and that all those were also Brain Train reviewees. Whew, I felt complete relief.
(PS. Upon seeing the actual room, I already spotted the single bed with a its own wall fan. Hahaha, I was too greedy that time, I want my own electric fan. lol)

#1MonthsaryBTOB

Yesterday, April 24, 2012 marks the first monthsary of BTOB (Born to Beat) after debut (March 24, 2012). As everyone doesn't know, they are the newest group from Cube Entertainment where 4Minute, BEAST, G.Na, and APink reside. Yay~ Welcome to the family. My family and Cube Family.

I'm gonna give you a short profile about BTOB. So, BToB stands for Born to Beat which is a 7-membered boy group, as I said from Cube Entertainment. Naming the members, Seo Eunkwang (Vocal, Leader), Lee Minhyuk (Vocal, Rap, Visual), Lee Changsub (Vocal, Aegyo), Lim Hyunsik (Vocal, Body Builder), Shin Donggeun/Peniel Shin (Rap, English), Jung Ilhoon (Rap), and Yook Sungjae (Vocal, Rap, Visual). Their debut album is self-entitled 'Born to Beat' which contains 4 tracks; Intro, Insane (Current promotional song), Imagine, and Monday to Sunday (Acoustic one which I think the one's who played the guitar was Peniel and/or Hyunsik).

I've been so totally addicted with this rookie group, as well as with B.A.P (Debuted on January 28, 2012)   and NU'EST (Debuted on March 15, 2012). They were all awesome and talented. They have that swag that I have been looking for a STAN. I even forget about any other groups which I am so obsessed before which I so-called PAST RELATIONSHIPS (lolwhut). Apparently, I'm in love with Lee Minhyuk (BTOB) or my squirrel yeobo-oppa! He's just so cute and so adorkable like that. I really love him and BaekRenRon OTP (NU'EST), and Jung Daehyun (B.A.P). Well, I love them all but my love for those mentioned is deeper.

-----------------

BaekRen OTP forever. Baekho/Minhyuk will kiss me like that too. 

G O O D N I G H T ~

Annyeonghasaeyo~

This is just a fast update of what is currently happening with my life now. Actually, I've started my fandom again right after I received my diploma from high school. It's been a while since summer had started and I don't regret anything about it. I knew some new rookie groups (B.A.P, NU'EST, and BTOB) which I am in-love-at-first-sight. With B.A.P, I knew them since their debut in late January I think, while NU'EST and BTOB, just this vacation. Before March ended, I received some cash gift from my godmother and some valuables from Korea. This April, I received a lot. I received clothes from Giordano and Korea, money, hangouts, and NU'EST's FACE album (which I actually asked to be bought fresh from Korea).

Also, I kept myself busy mainly by reblogging, tweeting, Youtube, me2day, and TV programs (KPOP-related of course). Apparently, I'm still waiting for BTOB's Peniel to tweet something on their Twitter probably after they were done with radio guesting. 

Anyways, here's my NU'EST Album

Good Friday

Good Friday. If in the Philippines it's 3:00 PM, in South Korea it's already 4:00 PM. This time, BTOB is having a fan signing event for those who bought their debut album that started an hour ago. Actually, I don't expect this to happen. When I received that text message just probably two or a minute ago, it was like that happiest moment of my life. One of the happiest. I have only one album signed by an artist, for this whole existence. But upon seeing my aunt's name on my phone screen with a text message, I got really curious of what possible thing happened to her, if it is a good or a bad news; since today is a solemnity for a lot of people especially for my aunties who are apparently in S. Korea for Naju, to pilgrim.

Goodbye High School

28th March, 2012. I left my life from high school, started my 2012 vacation, and will soon be welcoming another step of my life. It's been a long time since I was born, since I was a toddler, since I was a kindergarten, since I was an elementary, and now a high school alumna. I'm so happy to succeed in this. I'm so happy for myself. Although I haven't received any awards or medals, I am still happy. I don't know why, maybe I'm happy for my friends, my family, and to those who believes in me. I'm thankful to God. He never leaves, He stays. I can't live without His grace, His power, His presence, HIM.

Ang mga Kaibigan ko ng Hayskul

Sa totoo lang, marami talaga akong na-realized mga nitong araw lang. Idrk kung part 'to ng growing up or just normal na nangyayari sa tao. Parang nung napaisip ako, ang dami kong mami-MISS sa tana ng buhay high school student ko. Ewan ko, dati para sakin basta makatapos ako okay na. Feel ko dati ang O.A. ng mga students na umiiyak pag-graduation lalo na kung makikita pa rin naman sila next school year sa same school pati. Tas dati ang dating sakin ng mga remembrances ay JOLOGS. Ang taas ng pride ko tas parang wala kong pakialam sa feelings ng mga friends or mga nagmamahal sakin. Hanggang 'thank you' lang ang response ko.

Marami na din naman akong naging friends eh kahit na maraming gusto na siguro akong patayin sa sobrang kaprangkahan ko. Feel ko lahat ng tinuturing kong friends ay ganun din ang tingin sakin. Yung tipong walang bahid ng kaplastikan. Tingin ko nga, lahat talaga ng kaibigan ko ay kaya kong mabilang sa mga daliri ko.

Rosal Benedette

I've been telling people not to call me with my real name. I feel awkward when I hear them calling me with that. It seems that they're bullying or playing something irritating with my name. I don't know, I don't even dislike my name it's just --- I don't like someone playing with that precious name. I know you're now wondering how did it become precious, because even I, just found out that it's really precious.

I am Rosal Benedette. Rosal came from my mother and father's names, ROSemarie and ALfredo, and not from the Rosal flower. Benedette, as my mother said, is meaningful. She said that the name was from Rose Benedette which is a flower that signifies a saint or something related to a saint. I forgot the whole story and the saint's name, sorry. The flower is plainly Rose and the benedette after is an Italian word for "blessed". Of course I was grateful about what I had discovered and I just realized that if Rose Benedette means a Blessed Rose, then Rosal Benedette is defined as Blessed Rosal. 

I know I am blessed all my life. I know that God is with me all the time, especially when I need Him by my side, for advice, for genuine help, and for His great love. I know He does everything for my own benefit, for my own stand in this world. He does all these challenges for my better aspect, for improvement. He gives me all my loved ones not only my family, my friends, but all those people who inspires me. I'm really thankful that I knew Him more through my friends which are as well, my inspirations. 

--------------------------------------------

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me."

                                                     -Philippians 4:13

----------------------------------------------------

NOTE. The Italian word benedette is pronounced differently from my name.

REMAINING...

Indeed, 4th year is a busy year. I've spent a lot of hardcore effort for a lot of requirements just to succeed in this level. Yes, every milestone in life will probably become harder or rather if you pursue to go backwards, we can say it's like a soft marshmallow, easy to chew.

Everything you do whether it's for your own benefit or your own loss depends on yourself. But you can never leave that certain spot where you haven't proven your significance; your success. You won't finish things if you take advantage of your own life doing foolishness. That's the main point of your living; to study or not; to live or die.

In this period of time, nothing is impossible if you finish your school and grab the opportunity to find a job worth your living. Hence, everything is possible if you don't, misfortunes are present. Though both are facts, HARD WORK is the main thing for us to sustain life needs for ourselves and for our families, future or present.

So a part from what I have learned this school year, I treasure the most "HARD WORK" because if I didn't practiced that two words still, I don't know if I will be ready to face facts and prevail myself as an important youth.

I have proved a lot of myself more this year; I become a better person, spiritually and academically. I'm now used with academic competitions and not childish battles. I am more God-fearing. I learned how to forgive and not incline myself to quarrels. I AM MORE MATURE NOW.

Lately, we were all busy. As usual busy, but last week was a BIG DEAL for us. It was our section's defense, per group. Almost the whole week, our class had the Thesis Defense. Gladly, all the groups from the class passed and all the other remaining projects for the last week were submitted.

BURDENSOME stuffs deleted!

Until this week, we were at ease and we don't have bombarded night schedules for projects but instead, just few important stuffs like our Minor subjects' Long Tests and the Moving Test for Physics. Next week I think the NAT and the week after, FINALS and another week after, practices and the Baccalaureate and the main event for this year, High School Graduation!
---
GOODNIGHT xxoo

Madly, Deeply in Love

It's been a while since I last watched a love story. I'm not really a romantic person (movie). I'd rather watch action, suspense, horror, or even thriller but not romance. I don't know but I grew up with violence, gore, and etc. Apparently, I just had to watch Letters to Juliet on HBO about 7-8 hours ago. I've know that it was a great movie and basically the letters forwarded to Juliet and were answered by her "secretaries" are something unique and extraordinary. That's why I proved myself if t is really worthy watching for, and no negative word I can say with the whole movie. I just thought of witnessing a love story like Claire and Lorenzo's, if ever.

Anyways, I would love to hear from anyone if there is that "LETTERS TO JULIET" thing and if it's really existing with or without the 'secretaries'. 

#WHATIMISSMOST; CHILDHOOD

1:51 AM. Started typing...

I was obliged to look for a baby picture (for our yearbook) and found my THROUGH-THE-YEARS album from my birth until 2-3 y/o. I'm not really sure. Well I reminisced a little, trying to remember all those cherished moments with my loved ones. And slightly laughed about good and hilarious shots of us.

It is nice to have photos as a keepsake. It is the best treasure as we grew older. Those shots will make us feel our childhood, teenage, and adulthood again when we're already in our stage of being grannies and grandpas.

2:03 AM. End.

Friday the 13th means ZE:A

Started typing 1:43AM. 14th of January, 2012...

January 13th, 2012. The day was unexpected. I'm not really sure of what can possibly happen this day. If I could attend the mall tour/fan-signing event/meet and greet or just attend school, as a usual Friday. Well, I'm having dilemmas from the past days of skipping classes or attend the event but I'd came up of I think, which satisfied me.

The morning I am excited of; I was expecting to be at least be at the VIP section of the event since it's Friday and maybe most fans are in schools/colleges/universities. EXPECTATIONS turned NOTHING. Do you know the feeling of fans lining up in columns/rows at a late morning? Isn't it disappointing? HAHA, probably it is though. Obviously, we can't do anything but wait-in-line even though our stomachs grumble in horror. After we bought our album copies and stub number (mine was 286), we had to eat of course. I withdrawn money and eat, then stumble towards Forever21 just to peek on each corner of the store. I didn't buy anything but supposedly, we just can't find what my friend told me. KITTEHHS. We then walked more around SM Makati and Glorietta and came back to the event center. We'd waited for long on a spot where we think ZE:A could recognize us or rather, where we can see them closely. It all happened. Though we're on a side view while they were performing and being interviewed, it's okay. Typically, there were non-fans watching who will push you till you can't breathe because of the barrier in front of you. They kept pushing, I kept pushing backwards. Hmm..., I have the right to breathe.

Kthen, the meet and greet/fan-signing moment. I won't prolong this post any longer, it's already late. I just had the chance to walk on stage twice for having a two-stubbed album. The 2nd time I went on stage, I felt Dongjun, Hyungshik, and Taeheon shocked after seeing me for the second time and even maybe the other members. But I can't really forget the *shocked face*of Shikkie! HAHA, adorable.

ZE:A - Heart for 2 (fancam) @Glorietta Mall; from my YouTube account.

END. 2:17 AM

Saturday: Shooting

11:56 PM, I started typing...

Yesterday was another day for off-school activity. Actually it's for school, but held outside its premises. We had a half day of shoot from 8AM meet-up to around 8PM wrap-up. Most of our scenes were really meant just like professional movie makers', from camera angles to where the scenes must be shoot. Honestly, it was a tough work. From morning until night, I felt exhausted after I went home. I guess this is how artists and staffs usually undergo when inside shooting. Probably! And, we just experienced it! I'm sure our movie will turn out to be an exciting and a good one. Hello, everyone worked hard for it. Though we aren't finished yet, we still have until 21; next shooting, HOSPITAL SCENE. I know everyone gained self-esteem after Saturday happening. I'll be a doctor there. Hahaha, God bless!


Goodnight. 12:12, end typing.