'Special'

Just a quick post.

I can't really sleep!!! Ugh, I'm getting up at 5 a.m. later and it's 1.38 a.m. I feel like I'm having insomnia or what, but seriously I need to sleep. 

I'm not going to rant. However, I just revealed a secret on Twitter. What I've tweeted concerns something about my personal faith. I believe in God, but I don't follow my religion's beliefs. I don't usually pray. Though I repeatedly utter the same prayers every subject I'm having everyday (the fact I'm in a Catholic university). I pray whenever I feel like I am worthy to talk to God. I have the highest respect to Him and that includes how and when will I pray, just like the intake of host. Catholics taught me not to take the 'body of Christ' when you feel that you're not worthy to receive it. 

I feel like not praying daily isn't a sin at all. I think praying without sincere intentions will void my prayers, which I don't like. I just have this feeling that a prayer is a privilege, and that it should be really SPECIAL. 

I'm always thankful to the Lord. Even though I might not say it through prayer, but in my heart I am. 

Sometimes I wish for death

Okay, it's always been part of learning, part of growing up, part of etc etc etc...

I'm sick of this life!!! I feel so humiliated by myself greatly. Definitely people already sees me as that stupid girl who doesn't know anything. Well, I accept this as a consequence. Though, I don't know how can I accept my family's torn faces if I fail at this.

I'm basically taking up a dayum pre-law course (Alumni from it are expected to take up law as a profession) and now on my second year in the university. My first choice was engineering, but failing multiple times during entrance exams, I gave up. 

The only degree program or course on my mind, when I was in the peak of choosing where to go, was engineering. Nothing else comes to my mind. 

July 6, 2013

It was a not-so-ordinary day for me yesterday. Well, because having regular Saturday classes is not usual, and sometimes I have a whole week one. Sophomore year in university is hectic!

What about yesterday? It is not about that "classes thing," but something else. I can still remember my Lolo Pacoy. Who would forget him? He was the perfect father and grandfather. He is actually my favorite person amongst all of the people around me. I might find more favorites, yet he is the greatest. I love my lolo so much. 

**June 18, 2008 was the worst birthday for my mother and the worst day for us. My lolo was admitted to the hospital until his last breath on 6th of July the same year.**