SHAMELESS

I have been harsh to myself lately. Supposedly, I am trying to be a better student, but turned out to be worst. Just yesterday, I was destined to recite the PGC's preamble. So I did, but it should had been presented with something else, like a talent or whatsoever. I was actually planning to sing or rather rap it, however twisted everything. I stood on that flat form, consumed a lot of time, thinking of what possible talent I can manage with my recitation. Seriously, I don't want to continue anymore, it was terrible; I was in midst of nervous breakdown. My professor got disappointed by the time I even mentioned failing that certain activity, but yeah, I finished just plainly reciting the preamble alone.

My yesterday was a bad day. I was being rude to my professors, especially with my English one. I don't want it that way, treating her like she is not even inside the room. I was starting and joining commotions with my classmates, which disrupts her talking. I feel really ashamed, and I should be. I pity her, but pity myself more. I just feel so terrible about yesterday.

Now thinking these, lessons me with how badly I did for the past few days. I meant it, I know. I really intend to be mean and lazy with all the stuff and people whom I feel like acting that way. I always tell other people differently the way I respect myself and others. It is really bothering me right now. I feel like isolating myself from them, to at least renew mine. I don't wanna say more things, just act to my responsibilities and oblige myself to accept whatever God gives me.


Goodnight x

ATTITUDE

I really hate how I feel really guilty about myself. I feel like I ruined someone's life already although going there sort of. I don't know, I wanna isolate myself from trouble but here I am, stroke for the third time. I might absorb all the burden if someone from this dorm fail because of my annoying noise. Yes, I admit it. I can't control my humor which can cause real commotion together with some dorm people. I was easily amused by sort of things which I cannot really explain and then laugh until my stomach aches like I just did an exercise to have ABS, perhaps sit-ups.

Ugh, I only know one solution so that I would not disturb someone's company. I will just leave for the betterment of everyone. You might consider this as a dramatic ending of my stay but so far, I don't know any possible reason. I don't really want to piss someone again.

I want to change my personality. From a really humorous one to a more serious teenager. I will do this for the benefit of all the interactions I have. So that in the future, I will just be a neutral person, and not someone's headache. I already expected this to happen though, but I never listened to that instinct. I hope I did, since this is not my own home. This is just a lodging place near school. Okay, I hope I can be as quite as a decent lady. I hope I can. Goodnight.

ALIVE TOUR MANILA'S RANT

"WOW, FANTASTIC BABY~" | "NIGA SARANGHANEUN NANEUN SORRY I'M A BAD BOY~"

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October 24, 2012. 

Who can tell that I had an awesome night despite of the pissed off moments outside the arena? Whoa, I did not really expect that I will enjoy the rest of my night. It was surreal! I know, but duh, I'm not a die-hard fan of BigBang. Gone partying all throughout the concert. Hell yeah!

MEAN.

Self-declared meanie~
Yes, I am! And I'm not proud of it. Who would, right? I really pity myself.

I am always rude and selfish (perhaps) towards people. I don't know, I just can't control my feelings. Yes, my reasons are probably valid for acting mean, but I can't calm myself not to be like that. *sighs*

오똑헤!!! :(