SHAMELESS

I have been harsh to myself lately. Supposedly, I am trying to be a better student, but turned out to be worst. Just yesterday, I was destined to recite the PGC's preamble. So I did, but it should had been presented with something else, like a talent or whatsoever. I was actually planning to sing or rather rap it, however twisted everything. I stood on that flat form, consumed a lot of time, thinking of what possible talent I can manage with my recitation. Seriously, I don't want to continue anymore, it was terrible; I was in midst of nervous breakdown. My professor got disappointed by the time I even mentioned failing that certain activity, but yeah, I finished just plainly reciting the preamble alone.

My yesterday was a bad day. I was being rude to my professors, especially with my English one. I don't want it that way, treating her like she is not even inside the room. I was starting and joining commotions with my classmates, which disrupts her talking. I feel really ashamed, and I should be. I pity her, but pity myself more. I just feel so terrible about yesterday.

Now thinking these, lessons me with how badly I did for the past few days. I meant it, I know. I really intend to be mean and lazy with all the stuff and people whom I feel like acting that way. I always tell other people differently the way I respect myself and others. It is really bothering me right now. I feel like isolating myself from them, to at least renew mine. I don't wanna say more things, just act to my responsibilities and oblige myself to accept whatever God gives me.


Goodnight x

Ang mga Kaibigan ko ng Hayskul

Sa totoo lang, marami talaga akong na-realized mga nitong araw lang. Idrk kung part 'to ng growing up or just normal na nangyayari sa tao. Parang nung napaisip ako, ang dami kong mami-MISS sa tana ng buhay high school student ko. Ewan ko, dati para sakin basta makatapos ako okay na. Feel ko dati ang O.A. ng mga students na umiiyak pag-graduation lalo na kung makikita pa rin naman sila next school year sa same school pati. Tas dati ang dating sakin ng mga remembrances ay JOLOGS. Ang taas ng pride ko tas parang wala kong pakialam sa feelings ng mga friends or mga nagmamahal sakin. Hanggang 'thank you' lang ang response ko.

Marami na din naman akong naging friends eh kahit na maraming gusto na siguro akong patayin sa sobrang kaprangkahan ko. Feel ko lahat ng tinuturing kong friends ay ganun din ang tingin sakin. Yung tipong walang bahid ng kaplastikan. Tingin ko nga, lahat talaga ng kaibigan ko ay kaya kong mabilang sa mga daliri ko.

Saturday: Shooting

11:56 PM, I started typing...

Yesterday was another day for off-school activity. Actually it's for school, but held outside its premises. We had a half day of shoot from 8AM meet-up to around 8PM wrap-up. Most of our scenes were really meant just like professional movie makers', from camera angles to where the scenes must be shoot. Honestly, it was a tough work. From morning until night, I felt exhausted after I went home. I guess this is how artists and staffs usually undergo when inside shooting. Probably! And, we just experienced it! I'm sure our movie will turn out to be an exciting and a good one. Hello, everyone worked hard for it. Though we aren't finished yet, we still have until 21; next shooting, HOSPITAL SCENE. I know everyone gained self-esteem after Saturday happening. I'll be a doctor there. Hahaha, God bless!


Goodnight. 12:12, end typing.

Friday, Happy

Yesterday, arrived home. Rested. This morning, left home for CS. Definitely tiring! We'd cleaned as much as possible five or more dirt-stuck monoblock chairs per each person. Because I did, and I lost my energy for just an hour or two. Whatever. Anyways, I'm contented within the day.

This how the story rolls...

After CS, I had lunch at Jabee (Bayan) with my two very 'kalog' friends. We are just so hungry after cleaning. I even nearly puked of headache cause of hunger and of fatigue. Then after fast food, crossed the street for 15 Php ice cream at MINISTOP as dessert. I didn't really expect something to happen today but I had wished that while eating and even talked about it with my friends. Know what? It suddenly happened. I've seen it there! Was it destiny? I dunno. But I am just satisfied seeing it and the coincidence of eye movement, melted me. Literally. So it left after the ice cream. We stayed and talked more about other stuffs. We went back to school for a game, stayed there for hours, watched other sections' games, and played. We lose again, saddening though. But as mommy (adviser) says, "It's okay." and everything will go right as usual. I then arrived home after the game. Soooooo tired! Then my siblings told me that we're leaving again for Shopwise. My mum will treat us dinner outside. After they took a bath, I also did and I feel-like my body will collapse. Thank God it didn't. Ate dinner at Hap Chan and boom, full and bloated! Left and go back home.

While Facebooking and Twittering and page-hopping, something that I have lost hope with came true. Oh gosh! God is really good!!! I am still happy with what's happening right this time with my life. I am still pleased and thankful though there are times that I'm stubborn, also a burden.

Now, I'll try to accomplish and start with my projects/assignments. Happy Semestral Break!

WIN or LOSE

We failed to win over Ephesians during our volleyball game just this afternoon right after our minor subjects' long tests. I wasn't really expecting to win though, but at least to win a set so that it wont be that upsetting much and possibly, a tie-break game ahead. Unfortunately, both sets we lose. I just felt a little dismayed with my performance and with what happened especially one of the other team's player was my sister. Oh no I swear, I play better, before. Can receive and serve, both thing. Suddenly, it changed. I lack practice and never tried playing in intramural. Just a non-competent game with PE subject. What now? I don't know. Will do better next time perhaps?

Btw, I was in deep LSS with this song.

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"God Bless is better than 'good luck'."

Simple Plan

"You say good morning, when it's midnight."

Ohemgee. This is totally inside my mind. I know you're familiar with that quoted line from a song, aren't you? Hello! It's so popular in the Philippines and possibly, worldwide.

So, what about it? Why did you quoted that line? What's the purpose of it? I don't even care about this post. -- Better get lost then! Seriously, it's not a big deal. The lyrics doesn't have any significance for me. I just can't get it out of my mind and partly the only line I know from the song.

PS. Hahaha, an awkward experience while singing the song in school is also good enough to reminisce.

A Boy

The moment he transferred school, he's changing consistently, from being a 'lil smart obedient kid to a worst nightmare to his parents and as a boy. Yes, he is currently experiencing puberty but that doesn't do anything with his studies. The time he met classmates and street friends who became close with him and suddenly influenced him of such normal stuffs in this time; the internet and the game, he just lost focus and deprived himself of learning in school. His growing up routine when he was in elementary until he graduated were all the same. He'll be dropped home from school, change clothes, and then leave home until evening. Or times, he's in front of the monitor, playing computer games. You can easily prove yourself when you observe him and his friends. At school, his friends are BI or plainly BAD INFLUENCE-RS. At home/street, also the same.