I have been harsh to myself lately. Supposedly, I am trying to be a better student, but turned out to be worst. Just yesterday, I was destined to recite the PGC's preamble. So I did, but it should had been presented with something else, like a talent or whatsoever. I was actually planning to sing or rather rap it, however twisted everything. I stood on that flat form, consumed a lot of time, thinking of what possible talent I can manage with my recitation. Seriously, I don't want to continue anymore, it was terrible; I was in midst of nervous breakdown. My professor got disappointed by the time I even mentioned failing that certain activity, but yeah, I finished just plainly reciting the preamble alone.
My yesterday was a bad day. I was being rude to my professors, especially with my English one. I don't want it that way, treating her like she is not even inside the room. I was starting and joining commotions with my classmates, which disrupts her talking. I feel really ashamed, and I should be. I pity her, but pity myself more. I just feel so terrible about yesterday.
Now thinking these, lessons me with how badly I did for the past few days. I meant it, I know. I really intend to be mean and lazy with all the stuff and people whom I feel like acting that way. I always tell other people differently the way I respect myself and others. It is really bothering me right now. I feel like isolating myself from them, to at least renew mine. I don't wanna say more things, just act to my responsibilities and oblige myself to accept whatever God gives me.
Goodnight x
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