First Times

It's pretty odd that I'm feeling happy and overwhelmingly happy despite all the pessimism surrounding me and that embarrasing moment with James Younghusband & co.

Terribly awkward. I thought that it will never come cross my reality. Awful experience. I just hope he would never remember me or whatever. I just hope he remembers me wearing the UST Futsal name. Though, I will never forget this day. One of my good experiences and good coompany and one of my best days. 

Vote wisely

I want to say something, pero baka nanaman mali ang point ko. So, I'd rather post it here instead.

I saw an article with a title that has been to my attention for so long. I wasn't able to read what it was about, though the title dictates something which is already happening. I was one of those citizens who condemn others because of voting certain people as their officials. Pero, natauhan ako nung may isang beses na narinig ko na wala pala dapat talaga akong karapatang magalit sa kanila. Siguro ang lakas ng loob kong magalit sa mga tinatawag kong "bobo" kasi underage pa ako para bumoto noon at kahit papaano, may ideya ako ng pulitika dito sa Pilipinas. 

Dati lagi akong nagagalit kasi maraming tao sa atin na bumuboto lang ng mga kandidatong sikat, laging nakikita sa TV dahil sa ad, artista, etc. Parang walang katuturan di ba? Marami sa atin ang iniisip na "ay mabait 'to" kasi nabigyan tayo ng groceries o pera o dahil pumupunta sa iskwater's area. Pero, kung ikaw ay isang istudyante ng batas or isang tao na aware about politics, iba naman ang perspective mo. 

New Interior

It's "hell week" for most people, but it's probably the last week of my misery for this semester. I meant, weeks weeks ago were already hell. Though, today marks the start of our Finals week and I'm sick. What a lucky instance for me.

I won't necessary talk about the finals, because I might overact it too much. I just literally hate hell weeks. My purpose is to rant about something else. Perhaps it's not much of a big deal (for me YES), I just feel inconvenience inside our dormitory room. 

I just don't feel the apparent view of our room from my bed: 

   1) The light is directed to my eyes, wherein I hate the lights so much while sleeping. Yet, my cousin always stay late and often uses the light. Shit.

   2) I have no power socket near my bed. I have this extension to plug my electrical devices, but the wire won't even make it to the nearest socket, especially I charge my phone while or before sleeping. Ugh. 

   3) How can I turn on the airconditioning unit? I still have to go to the upper deck of this bed just to fucking turn it on or turn it off. What if I just woke up? (The switch is also hard to turn - it needs strength) 

   4) The bed covers the windows. 

   5) I still need to walk a bit to the cabinet. Hey, when I'm getting/putting stuff in my cabinet, I always put them all on my bed (first), usually when I'm about to bath. It's too uncomfortable for me to lower my head, often times I feel nauseous or dizzy or even headache. 

   6) I can't disagree. 

So those give me discomfort. I can't decide whether to accept this new look because I'm totally hating it. I just feel so inconvenient with whatever move I will make. I want the old view back. Shit, just shit. I don't want to move around too much. It feels so dizzy and the fact that my head, breathing, and throat are suffering from illness. Ughhhhhh. 

Post-birthday

Yesterday was just almost an hour ago. Yesterday was my 18th birthday. It was tragic. So to wrap it up, I'm posting this post-birthday entry.

It wasn't literally tragic, though. I was just being so exaggerated. What I meant "tragic", is that I turned 18 - which means the cliff of my teenage lifestyle. I can barely say I'm a teenager, well sorta. I lost a lot of privileges; I can be jailed anytime. I must be more reasonable. I must be independent. I must act lady-like. I must be more responsible. I must improve my grammar. And so on and so on...

Practically, I can say that doing those is bullshit. I don't need to please the public or anyone, but myself. However, misfit occurs at most points. And yet, the society is too extreme to judge you, even your family (sometimes). 

I hate the fact that I am not being myself (which I was used to) right now. I'm feeling that my life is a joke. Like I'm a puppet who can't do anything, but follow her puppeteers. I feel like I lost my freedom. I'm not a free spirit anymore, who can reject things without being accused or judged or loathed. I wanna be a kid forever. I wanna be naive! I hate turning 18 and what they call the "perks" of being 18. What are those? I don't feel them. I'm not happy. 

I just wanna be free. Like what I like. Be who I wanna be. I think that would be the best gift I can have. 

Anyway, happy birthday to me. As my friend said, I'm another year closer to death.

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Wishlist:

  To get noticed by Eric Halvorsen, Nick Santino, Jack Barakat, Sam Pepper, Caspar Lee, Jack & Finn Harries, Dan Howell ❤