Bruised

January 12, 2014. The date when I almost committed myself to John Cornelius. But, I was out of my mind to waste my seconds to a typical "how are you?" convo and not of marriage. Lol, that would make me a creeper even more. Here's the story goes...

Somebody told me

I never took the risk to be in a romantic relationship. I never allowed someone to go beyond friendship. I never went on a "date." Maybe I'm just scared to try to really fall into a commitment.

You wouldn't say that you're okay alone, because everyone had at least one instance that they wanted to be in romance. We all fall in love. We all have our own types and ideals - because we are humans. 

I've fell in love a couple of times. Idk if it's love, but I felt pain inside me. I have a lot of crushes and sometimes I believe in the three-month rule and sometimes not. I had a crush on someone for a short time, but it was a heartbreak. There is someone that I met months ago, and I still like him. 

Just a thought...

No one really understands what the real problem is. Everyone already assumes for conclusion, without even consulting those involved. Why is everyone becoming so narrow-minded?

Everyone blames anyone, just for the sake of pointing out someone to carry the misery - just an assumption of who's who. Please, it is ruthless. 

I hate how the world suddenly shifted. I know life is complicated and that it is fun, but why does it have to be dull all of a sudden for almosy a year?

Is this all a test from the Almighty Father? Am I already using His name in vain? I'm just seeking for right decisions and right answers. I badly need answers. I need to know why and how. 

The dilemma of why and how is hard. 

x

First Times

It's pretty odd that I'm feeling happy and overwhelmingly happy despite all the pessimism surrounding me and that embarrasing moment with James Younghusband & co.

Terribly awkward. I thought that it will never come cross my reality. Awful experience. I just hope he would never remember me or whatever. I just hope he remembers me wearing the UST Futsal name. Though, I will never forget this day. One of my good experiences and good coompany and one of my best days.