New Interior

It's "hell week" for most people, but it's probably the last week of my misery for this semester. I meant, weeks weeks ago were already hell. Though, today marks the start of our Finals week and I'm sick. What a lucky instance for me.

I won't necessary talk about the finals, because I might overact it too much. I just literally hate hell weeks. My purpose is to rant about something else. Perhaps it's not much of a big deal (for me YES), I just feel inconvenience inside our dormitory room. 

I just don't feel the apparent view of our room from my bed: 

   1) The light is directed to my eyes, wherein I hate the lights so much while sleeping. Yet, my cousin always stay late and often uses the light. Shit.

   2) I have no power socket near my bed. I have this extension to plug my electrical devices, but the wire won't even make it to the nearest socket, especially I charge my phone while or before sleeping. Ugh. 

   3) How can I turn on the airconditioning unit? I still have to go to the upper deck of this bed just to fucking turn it on or turn it off. What if I just woke up? (The switch is also hard to turn - it needs strength) 

   4) The bed covers the windows. 

   5) I still need to walk a bit to the cabinet. Hey, when I'm getting/putting stuff in my cabinet, I always put them all on my bed (first), usually when I'm about to bath. It's too uncomfortable for me to lower my head, often times I feel nauseous or dizzy or even headache. 

   6) I can't disagree. 

So those give me discomfort. I can't decide whether to accept this new look because I'm totally hating it. I just feel so inconvenient with whatever move I will make. I want the old view back. Shit, just shit. I don't want to move around too much. It feels so dizzy and the fact that my head, breathing, and throat are suffering from illness. Ughhhhhh. 

Post-birthday

Yesterday was just almost an hour ago. Yesterday was my 18th birthday. It was tragic. So to wrap it up, I'm posting this post-birthday entry.

It wasn't literally tragic, though. I was just being so exaggerated. What I meant "tragic", is that I turned 18 - which means the cliff of my teenage lifestyle. I can barely say I'm a teenager, well sorta. I lost a lot of privileges; I can be jailed anytime. I must be more reasonable. I must be independent. I must act lady-like. I must be more responsible. I must improve my grammar. And so on and so on...

Practically, I can say that doing those is bullshit. I don't need to please the public or anyone, but myself. However, misfit occurs at most points. And yet, the society is too extreme to judge you, even your family (sometimes). 

I hate the fact that I am not being myself (which I was used to) right now. I'm feeling that my life is a joke. Like I'm a puppet who can't do anything, but follow her puppeteers. I feel like I lost my freedom. I'm not a free spirit anymore, who can reject things without being accused or judged or loathed. I wanna be a kid forever. I wanna be naive! I hate turning 18 and what they call the "perks" of being 18. What are those? I don't feel them. I'm not happy. 

I just wanna be free. Like what I like. Be who I wanna be. I think that would be the best gift I can have. 

Anyway, happy birthday to me. As my friend said, I'm another year closer to death.

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Wishlist:

  To get noticed by Eric Halvorsen, Nick Santino, Jack Barakat, Sam Pepper, Caspar Lee, Jack & Finn Harries, Dan Howell ❤ 

Hell week, gloomy weather, full of procrastination

It's exams week! I'm lying on bed, typing this. My TV is on, I'm not even watching. I guess the channel is ETC. My laptop is on, as well. Waiting for other people to notice me and tweet me in exchange of votes. 

Lol, yes votes. Votes that constantly makes me more miserable of probably not seeing my all-time favorite band. Actually, I'm turning 18 this month. It's so usual to have the "debut" thing when you turn eighteen in this country, in a Filipino family. Idk why it should be so special. So what if I turn 18? What's good about going legal and aging for another year? I don't know if cyber bullying would jail me, maybe yes. Shouting "May bomba!!!" (jokingly in public) might not mean a joke, but imprisonment. There are a lot of things that I hate about turning 18. It's like a curse; you must not be naive anymore. 

Annoyed

Irritation really catch me so well. I get so annoyed easily. Sometimes I'm too showy, but most of the times I keep it though. However, my irritation gets to the point that I tend to easily judge people also. I hate that. I just realized that when I was condemning my classmate for not wearing his uniform.

Firstly, Everyone from my class and one of my professors always notice him wearing the same thing - his previous program's jacket. Everyday he has a different top, not the white polo. Secondly, he kept on reasoning that his uniforms are still in the tailoring shop, and it has been a couple of weeks already. 

This must not be my problem though, but I'm using this as an example of how irritation made me so judgmental about other people. That classmate, when I asked him days ago said that his uniforms are still undone and that he is just borrowing from another classmate of mine for a specific subject that always caught him without proper uniform. From there I understood that I have already said a lot of bad perspectives about him. I thought he was like this and like that and like he don't really want to be in our class. BUT I AM WRONG. 

PS. Ask before you say something unsure and without proper basis. Talk to the person, allow him to explain. Be openminded!